Helping Kids Succeed Alaskan Style!
Practical Suggestions for Building Assets in Your Child
Asset # 11- Family Boundaries
INSIGHTS Family
Boundaries The research
is clear. Children and Youth need a clear sense of the rules and limits in
all the environments that touch their lives. Of course, as children and
youth grow, these rules and limits change. A fellow in the Sitka Pioneer's
Home was speaking to me about setting boundaries for young people. His
words were, "You have to learn to play the scales, before you can play
jazz." What I heard in that simple sentence was that kids needed to
learn and practice the "rules" of life, before they could go out
and improvise. Too many
times we think that we prepare our kids for a life of boundless
possibilities by not giving them clear boundaries and limits. However, what
we often do is prepare them for a life of limbo. Our youth too often are
not able to play the scales, and spend their lives wondering why they can't
play jazz. I have spent
some of my career working with adults who have been in treatment, in jail,
or in a jam. A vast majority of them had no practice "playing by the
rules" and "each believed that they were just improvising." Research News You can
Use Family
Boundaries have been shown to be associated with the following: ₯ Higher Self-Esteem ₯ Greater Social Skill Development ₯ Greater Peer Likability ₯ High School Achievement ₯ Higher Rates of Graduation ₯ Better School Performance ₯ Greater Adaptation to School ₯ Decreased Problem Behaviors ₯ Reduced Teenage Alcohol Use ₯ Reduced Teenage Use of Drugs ₯ Decreased Early Sexual Behavior ₯ Fewer Self-Regulation Problems Boundaries
are broader than family boundaries. Rules and
standards are important in all of the webs of support that the youth is
involved in. However, we know that parents are their child's first teachers
and this foundation of support allows young people to more readily
interpret the boundaries of the other environments they move through during
their growing up. Quote: Family life
is too complex to be ruled by fairness; giving a tit for a tat. To sustain
a family, the spirit of love must dominate. This spirit transcends fairness
and leads to justice. Derek Peterson This newsletter and
other asset resources are produced by the Association of
Alaska School Boards Alaska Initiative
for Community Engagement (Alaska ICE)
316 West 11th Street Juneau, Alaska 99801 Tel: (907) 586-1486 Fax: (907) 586-1450 Email: alaskaice@aasb.org